Bumbed out RN
Junior Member
Registered: Jul 2006
Location:
Posts: 5 |
In reply to "Why there is a nursing shortage", you are right. I've seen everything you wrote about. I couldn't agree with you more. This job does suck you dry. I've only been a nurse for 3 months and I just started on Zoloft and Xanax for my anxiety. I was just diagnosed with high blood pressure and pelvic varicosities ( mostly caused from being on your feet for extended periods of time). I saw the writing on the wall in nursing school -- most instructors at my school were not mentally stable, in my opinion. I began to wonder if this job attracted a certain type of person and questioned myself as to whether this was really for me. The reality began to hit me in 2nd semester when I had the clinical instructor from hell -- I still haven't figured out what it was about me that bugged her so much. The only reason I stuck it out was, as a single mother, I am the only example to my children and didn't want them to think that quitting a hard situation was the solution. Here I am, just a nurse 3 months and I think it sucks more than anything. It's hard to even enjoy my days off because I dread having to go back.
I work at a university hospital that is a trauma center and very busy. I am a minority there (Caucasian) and each ethnic group has it's cliques. I really have nothing in common with anyone there and feel like a fish out of water as soon as I walk through the front door. We have a charge/break nurse that is supposed to give breaks all day to our unit and another unit. That is a joke. Most days I'm so busy I just can't afford to take my break. By 3 or 4 I feel like I'm going to pass out so then I'll take about 15 minutes to eat, then right back on the job. They really don't care how busy you are, or how behind you are because they are on the computer or phone. But they will talk about you and how behind you are, or you need to manage your time better. It's about looking good at any expense -- not teamwork. As soon as my alarm goes off at 5am, my first thought is, "Crap, I have to work today, I won't be home until 8:30 or later, on my feet all day, running around like a chicken with my head cut off, being behind, being hungry, having to pee, and the doctors orders just coming in one after another, etc, I DON'T WANT TO GO!!!!" It's even worse on the days that you are doing 2 or 3 straight. The only way I am managing is my anxiety drugs of course, (they take a little bit of the edge off, but not that much. I take a very low dose of Xanax --don't want to take much because it will make me tired), and I pray the whole way to work. I pray the whole day I am there. I quote bible verses in my head all day long to get me through. I tell myself that ,"this too shall pass". Because I am new, I don't have enough experience to leave and go to another hospital unless I wanted to go through another new grad program, so I will just stick it out for now. I know there are other options available and I will continue to be on the lookout for that. I take one day at a time and try to focus on the good things that my job brings --which is excellent health benefits to my family at a minimum cost, flexible schedule, and 4 glorious days that I don't have to be there!
As far as working with these dysfunctional people -- I just try to ignore them, just focus on my work, be as efficient as possible so that I can hopefully get out by 8pm if I'm lucky, give excellent patient care, and don't take anything personal that they say. I think most of them are just miserable women. I know that my time there is temporary and I am just biding my time. I know there are other options, so will just be patient and keep my eyes open to something better down the road. I really have to work on changing my thought processes to a more positive outlook so that I can handle this awful job. There is a quote from Albert Einstein that goes something like this -- "The world in which we live in, is a product of our thinking. We can't change our world without changing our thinking". So my advice for all of the nurses out there in the same boat as me -- know that we have options, ignore the jerks at work, (we can't change these dysfunctional people), take one day at a time, and remember, "This too shall pass".
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02-19-2006 02:21 PM
